Bear's Journal, Entry #19: Autumn 2004 Republicans and Toxic Prayer Recently a woman accosted me in the parking lot of a Christian bookstore to tell me how offended she was at my bumperstickers. I have on the back of my truck, along with the Grateful Dead and "Give Peace A Chance" stickers, the Episcopal Church symbol (the St. George cross) and a sticker reading "Christian, Not Closed Minded." I also have a sticker saying "No More Bush - GreensForKerry.com." That was the one that upset her. She wanted to know how I could be so disrespectful of Our President (the way she said it you could tell she capitalized it). "After all," she said, "Our President is a Born Again Christian, and I find such disrespect very offensive." I smiled and actually laughed (after all, Bill Clinton was a Born Again Christian too -- and a Southern Baptist to boot). "First of all," I said, "I seriously doubt his Christianity." She looked like she had been shot. She literally gasped. I went on to say that whether Bush is a Christian or not, he needs to be replaced. When she regained her breath she said, "I can't believe you would call yourself a Christian and say such things about a man of God. I believe you're being incredibly judgmental." Again I smiled and said, "I believe you're being incredibly judgmental too." "Toward Our President???" she asked (which didn't really make sense). "No," I said, "toward me." It was starting to rain so I opened my truck door to get inside. "One more thing I have to ask," she said, pointing at my Episcopal sticker. "What do you think of gays in the Episcopal Church?" "Well, I'm gay, and I'm Episcopalian, so I don't have a problem with it. I'm proud of the Episcopal Church." Again, the gasp. She looked like she was in the early stages of a panic attack. She began stammering, "Well I guess that explains it -- I don't want to say God doesn't love you -- he does -- but -- this is so sad, so tragic --" "I know God loves me, ma'am." I got into my truck. "What is your name? I want to pray for you," she shouted as I closed the truck door. "No thanks," I said, and started to pull out of the parking space. She was still shouting, standing in the rain, but I couldn't hear her as I drove away. Postscript: I've gotten a lot of response to the above Bear's Journal entry, almost all of it positive. Several folks, though, emailed me to ask why I did not give the woman in the parking lot my name so she could pray for me. This is my response: The reason I did not give her my name is because I believe very strongly in the power of prayer. When we pray, we are not only speaking to God, but we are also focusing our intentions and energies on the objects of our prayers. When I first came out as a gay man, some "loved ones" began to pray for my death (as I write about in the Fall 2004 issue of White Crane). They believed it would be better for my body to perish and my soul to be saved (based on their interpretation of I Corinthians 5:5). Being the target of such a toxic prayer has made me realize the power of prayer, even "bad" prayers like this one. By giving the woman in the parking lot my name, I would have enabled her to focus her prayers more sharply and to use them as a weapon against me. She would have prayed for such things as for me to be "healed" of homosexuality - things that, if they came true, would violate my free will and cause me to be less than the person God created me to be. Her toxic prayers would have also provided a focus for her continued anger against me, making my "sin" and her "righteous indignation" the target of her prayer rather than God being the target -- and that would be detrimental to her, spiritually. So for her sake as well as for mine, I did not give her my name. I believe too strongly in the power of prayer to allow it to be used as a weapon against me. Since my last Bear's Journal entry I have decided to try to start an Amnesty International Local Group here in Cobb County (Marietta, Georgia). Our first monthly meetings will be on Thursday, November 18, and Thursday, December 16, 2004, at the Cobb County Central Library near Marietta Square. Everyone is invited to attend. For more information, visit http://amnestycobb.homestead.com |
